I took a shit in my grandma’s cat’s litterbox when I was like 13 and my whole family was wilding out trying to figure out why the cat took such a huge dump. Then they took her to the vet and we found out she has feline HIV so in a way, I helped her.
this story was wild from start to finish
me (dating a girl named liz and also taking a delicious lasagna out of the oven): hey anyone want some liz on ya? well you can't, she's mine. hahahaha. okay liz you can go home now I only dated you to make that joke